Revenge is sweet...
or that is what I have believed all my life. When I have really disliked someone, I have often fantasized about doing bad things to them or hoping that something bad would happen to them. That doesnt mean I'm planning murder. I mean simple things like they would do a test badly for example. Of course I never acted on this, but fondly played them out in my head. But there were very few people I have genuinely hated, so this didnt happen too often. Maybe through all my student life there were about 3 people for whom I felt this way. Then there soon came another category of people on whom I seeked revenge. These were the people who hurt me really deeply. They hurt me, so I hurt them back. When poet boy hurt me way back when I was only 17, I hurt him back. I would be as mean as possible to him and never had anything nice to say to him. He tried for a long time and finally I had just pushed him so far, that he gave up. And when he we broke up he didnt not have to feel any guilt cos I had hurt him back equally if not more. And it felt good.
And so whenever people asked me if I believed in revenge, I have nodded in the affirmative.
But I dont know if its because of age, or if I have become weaker or maybe because the ability to love someone has increased infinitely in the last decade, revenge does not seem sweet anymore. Pacific Guy hurt me more than anyone else has and for a long time all I wanted to do was hurt him back, to show him that I didnt care, that I did not want anything to do with him. The words come easily to me, but I hold back. For everything he says I have a comeback, one that would hurt,but instead I stop myself. I feel incapable of hurting him. Something inside doesnt allow me to. And all this pent up feelings I would imagine would make me feel frustrated, but for some strange reason I, instead feel at peace. When on those rare occasions I am really rude, it doesnt feel good at all. Far from it.
And it feels so strange and confusing. Shouldnt I hate the person who broke me? Shouldnt I want to break him too?
Revenge is bitter.....I have learnt that...But why am I not bitter?
5 comments:
It means you're a grown up now :)
When you've experienced a few bad things in life, you start to think "I know how terrible it feels. I can't do something like this to somebody else, for any reason."
Revenge just isn't worth it. It took Edmond Dante a while to understand that. It took me a while to understand that. It took you a while to understand that.
Lady you have already said it "... but for some strange reason I, instead feel at peace." You have learned to see the world for what it is. It is but a passing phase in an eternal journey, where fellow travelers join us for an ephemeral moment.
So relax around yourself! There are better things to do than revenge in this world.
i so agree with you..and you have no idea just how much.but you know what is the sweetest revenge?ur perpetrator coming back to you,whether to patch up or to seek ur favour.just dont react,this will keep them wondering why it is not effecting you and that will tormet them forever and in the end they will come back lapping at your feet.
where u miss?
@prashanth: Well, it took me quite a while to understand it
@Suchintya: Better things eh?
@Phoenix: He he! Sounds good to me!
@Ashu : Right here babe, right here.
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