Its a beautiful November afternoon. My computer is near the window and the breeze is flowing into my room in the most awesome manner. I havent posted in a long time, but that doesnt mean I have been upto nothing.
A lot has been happening including at the work front. From the time I joined this place I have been waiting for a promotion and when it came it didnt feel like much at all. In fact I felt absolutely nothing when I was given the news. Along with the promotion comes a very challenging role with a much bigger team. I know I must be thrilled. I dont understand this.
Pacific guy and I have started speaking. It started a few days after my bday. and ever since we have been speaking almost everyday. Its not like anything is going to happen. We both know that and its not like any of us want anything to happen. When I started talking to him I promised myself I wouldnt let myself get hurt and I think I have succeded. I mean, he has even told me that he regrets not having commited to Adeona. Ok it cut like a knife when I heard him say that but I recovered quickly. He even tells me sometimes that he is depressed and when I ask why, he says its cos he misses her. Again it cuts like a knife but I think I'm beggining to get immune to the pain.
I know you'll must be wondering why I'm talking to him. I know I would if I were reading this. I know I would consider me to be pretty brainless to be doing this, but really I'm not that stupid, atleast when it comes to such things. I mean I did stop talking to him for almost a year and I started only cos I thought I was over him and I can handle it. And I'm handling it, I think. I doubt he can hurt me. But then I wonder sometimes how inspite of nothing really changing in my life, I seem to have suddenly found happiness in the last 2 months. And then I'm not so sure anymore.
A lot has been happening including at the work front. From the time I joined this place I have been waiting for a promotion and when it came it didnt feel like much at all. In fact I felt absolutely nothing when I was given the news. Along with the promotion comes a very challenging role with a much bigger team. I know I must be thrilled. I dont understand this.
Pacific guy and I have started speaking. It started a few days after my bday. and ever since we have been speaking almost everyday. Its not like anything is going to happen. We both know that and its not like any of us want anything to happen. When I started talking to him I promised myself I wouldnt let myself get hurt and I think I have succeded. I mean, he has even told me that he regrets not having commited to Adeona. Ok it cut like a knife when I heard him say that but I recovered quickly. He even tells me sometimes that he is depressed and when I ask why, he says its cos he misses her. Again it cuts like a knife but I think I'm beggining to get immune to the pain.
I know you'll must be wondering why I'm talking to him. I know I would if I were reading this. I know I would consider me to be pretty brainless to be doing this, but really I'm not that stupid, atleast when it comes to such things. I mean I did stop talking to him for almost a year and I started only cos I thought I was over him and I can handle it. And I'm handling it, I think. I doubt he can hurt me. But then I wonder sometimes how inspite of nothing really changing in my life, I seem to have suddenly found happiness in the last 2 months. And then I'm not so sure anymore.
3 comments:
Do as what ur heart says Terra.
Ahh.. this thing called not being in love but still feeling special about nothing.
@ashu: I have realised from experience that your heart is not always right. Mine is downright foolish if you ask me :)
@annie:EXACTLY!!!
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