Good Bye...

I have tried several times this week to write about the first half of this month, but somehow I havent been able to bring myself to put my feelings into words. Words sometimes tend to give much more reality to a situation. Its like everything you pen down suddenly becomes much more real when compared to when they were just thoughts.
I wonder how it is that people who enter your lives after you have walked this planet for such a long time, become as important to you as your family, whom you have know since the time you were born. How can people who were total strangers one day be able to touch your life in such a way that when they go away, they take a part of you along with them.
Last week my best friend got married. I spent the last week of her bachelorette life with her. We did what we always do. We shopped for clothes, we discussed books, watched movies, laughed, shared our dreams about our future and wondered if we could be friends forever. We worried, like we have been for the last 6 months, if distance was going to be in the way of us being there for each other. This considering that she is moving to the US with her husband. Yesterday I had to say goodbye to her. Yesterday I did what I hate doing the most. I hate goodbyes. I know everyone hates goodbyes, but trust me I hate it more than normal people. Left to me I would like to have all my friends in the same apartment. I hate it when my friends move to different cities to pursue new jobs. When my friends make the decision to move they are most scared to tell me. This is because I get really mad and give them the silent treatment for days to come. When one of my friends got a job abroad last year, I hid his passport for 2 whole weeks and refused to give it back. Finally one of my friends had to "steal" it from my bag and give it back to him. So now you probably get how much I hate losing friends to other cities.
But last night saying goodbye to A was the toughest thing I have done in a while. Tougher this time cos all the previous times when my friends left me I hated them. I hated them for leaving me with such ease. I would dramatise and curse and say things like " I'll never forgive you for leaving me!!!". But yesterday was different. I'm so happy for A. I see how much in love she is with M and nothing gives you more happiness than seeing your friends happy ( happy with a new job abroad does not count!!!).
And so this goodbye was tougher cos I couldnt in my usual way distract my pain with anger.